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I survived satori
by Barbara
I confess being guilty. I used to be a lightworker. I even survived satori, my own enlightenment.
I come from a well of home. My parents were not orthodox, but they gave me an understanding of the truth. My mother told me about Jesus. She often read the children’s holy bible to us which I loved, and we used to pray every day together. Sometimes we attended Sunday’s worship. My father was an intellectual man. My family had the custom to read a lot, and we discussed many different topics. I was allowed to have every book that I was interested in. My parents established literacy actively in my siblings and I, and nurtured my mind.
When I was only ten years old, I started mucking around in psychology and autogenic training. I learned to practice meditation and was busy with books about reincarnation. This is how it came that I already had ten years of experience with self-hypnosis when I was twenty years old. At that point in time, my parents were already divorced and my mother had lethal cancer.
Herewith, I want to unveil the circumstances in my life which were used by the devil to destroy me and my family.
My induction to the first Reiki level – I was 24 – was boring to me. I already knew everything these people were so excited about. I knew to oscillate with a pendular to the highest spiritual levels. I was the navigator of my own life. I considered myself being spiritually higher developed than most people and kept my knowledge undisclosed because I felt that nobody would understand the stage of my high mental sophistication.
It’s been a long time since - and yes, it sounds ridiculous. How could I ever fancy being somewhat better than everybody else?
At the age of 28, I opened up my own business for hypnosis. At the request of a pal, I started with leading past-life-regressions. Within a short time, I became pretty successful and made good money.
I was 28 when I got to talk with the devil for the first time. He used my clients who were in trance to get in contact with me. During the following ten years, I encountered total brainwashing by the enemy who used my client’s bodies and me to make channels out of us.
My life became more and more stressful, but also more exciting. I was given the dates for next sessions and time-consuming duties, for instance I had to take notes in a specific manner, even the color of the binder was determined. I had to devote many hours of daily energy on these records to fulfill this task - besides of my normal workload. I lost a lot of weight and suffered from insomnia. Over several months, I could only get to sleep for 2-3 hours every night. But I didn’t care how much all this incredible information would cost me – for example I also learned about life on other planets. At any rate, I wanted to know. I would never have assumed that all this knowledge would almost cost my life in the end.
I remember once having asked him if he was god. “We all are god” he answered, followed by deeper insights into karma. I totally believed in reincarnation, and this contact – the old soul how we named him – was like an angel, to help me over the threshold into eternal enlightenment.
I didn’t have anything against Christians because I considered myself being a believer like they were. I did not see any difference between their god and mine….. but I did see a difference between their experience and mine! As the wise woman I saw myself, I made sure to not reveal any of my secrets to anybody, because I was convinced of every man having his own pace to learn.
Some Christian’s open hearts and their doctrines of the bible seemed somewhat naïve to me. I thought of every religion to be only one section of the long, straining way to god that everybody had to go. The buddhistic philosophy had taught me that every soul would make appointments with others and would plan ahead what lessons to learn and what tasks to complete during next life. Hence, to me a Christian was someone whose soul must have decided to try out Jesus and the holy bible this time. I totally could accept that, and this is why I never got into arguments with Christians.
Certainly I had heard of an awakening encountered by Christians as result of conversion. But I did not have any idea of what that could be. Until I really was in need of help.
The old soul had given me a tabu: to keep my healing energies, I must not talk to anyone about the secrets. They were only meant for me as I was selected to fulfill my last life in the very near future.
Nevertheless, against all odds my clients and I did not get better or became happier, quite the opposite. We became unhappier, some were ill-fated. I became seriously deseased myself and needed strong treatment. Eventually, I recognized that none of all the techniques had helped anyone of us. Also I did not feel like waiting for a next life anymore, to reap the benefits of my “good karma”.
I entered a life threatening state of spiritual crisis. On the one hand I had learned that I could end the spinning of my reincarnation’s wheel right now - which isn’t a wheel, but a vicious circle though. On the other hand I was ill and miserable.
Desperately I sought god in churches now, where I often cried my eyes out so bitterly before the Holy Cross, asking for forgiveness. I also tried to unburden my heart to some ministers but did not feel they saw that I was on the devils mercy.They prayed with me.
As a result, I had to stand my trial before the devil’s court. - Yes it does exist. Everything that God is doing, the devil will turn topsy-turvy. - The otherworldly souls, so-called “angels”, sat in judgement on me. Nobody who hasn’t been in this situation can imagine how it feels to be judged for the life that you have lived. The angels informed me that it was time to determine my reincarnation. I was pleaded guilty, better to say my soul still had to learn something important on earth. The punishment – my karma – would be my next life, in which I would be outcasted on an island. My lonelyless and desires would agonize me. The committee had come to the conclusion that this would be the best way to reach my next goal - to learn all about deepest human desires. I begged desperately to spare me that destiny. One day later, I was informed of the result of their re-consideration: instead of being on an island, they agreed to let me live amongst people, but of course I still would have to follow my educational objective. Therefore the committee had decided to let me experience a whore’s life. Again, I would be self-responsible for the outcome of course.
If I would cope with my next life’s fate, I would get out of the reincarnation’s circle to become an angel thereafter, which is a cosmic helper and guardian for the suffering mankind on earth - the highest goal one could ever reach in eternity. “Now you know that everybody can be enlightened masters, even a despised outcast or a whore. This will give you the deepest understanding of human’s nature. The missing link has been added to your soul. Make sure not to loose it, otherwise your soul becomes incomplete again and you will find yourself at the beginning of another onethousand lives again. Now you know everything -’” so the devil told me, “ - this is satori.”
I collapsed.
I was rescued by the Holy Spirit who had been living within me since my childhood. The Holy Spirit let me cry out to Jesus. And Jesus came into my life, not some day but amazingly fast, with comfort and love. I asked God for forgiveness and started a new life.
After I had met Jesus personally, I downed my tools. Nor was I interested in such “healing energies” anymore, neither in the popularity that I had had.
The many years of reading, meditating and practicing secret rituals - nothing of what I had taken for real before could live on. To meet the living, existing God is just matchless to anything that I had ever experienced before.
The simulated enlightenment is a lie, so are all memories of any fancied past lifes. The system of reincarnation does lead into nowhere only, which is hell - not to god.
I warn everybody who reads this to start with these things, even out of pure curiosity. It may cost your life.
THANK YOU JESUS
Barbara
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I survived satori